Posts Tagged ‘vulnerability’

Patricia: Closing A Story

August 11, 2010

Patricia wanted me to apologize. Three weeks after I walked out on her, she messaged me, still carrying that self-entitled demanding tone honestly believing that she’s speaking from a higher moral ground, to tell me nobody’s perfect and to say I have the chance to make things right. Her email made me smile. Didn’t I just said goodbye to her three weeks ago? What was this message all about? She’s offering me the opportunity to win her back. It’s cute. How can I not smile? The girl loves me. I am out of her life and she’s still frantically throwing shit tests.

I wrote her back. I kept the message short and the tone friendly. I told her the decision has been made and it’s best to just hang back for a while, see and await what the universe holds for us next. My universe lines are always cheesy, I’ve been told a thousand times. But that’s what I do. I bring the cheese to these girl’s lives. They all love me and miss me for it. How could a guy be so romantic and poetic and be such an arrogant asshole at the same time? I don’t know. I just am.

Such a spoiled rich girl like Patricia, I really don’t know what to expect next. She’s definitely not used to the kind of dismissal I just handed her. In her world of beauty, money and high status, being dumped by a struggling wannabe-somebody-big dreamer like me isn’t exactly a commonplace everyday thing. Most likely, she’ll just brush it off as a quirk of nature and go back to her regular ways once the initial shock of rejection has subsided. Or maybe I damaged her ego enough that she’d be bitter about it. I don’t know. In any case, I don’t care. She can only blame herself. She won’t do what I tell her to do. That’s a deal-breaker. It’s not the responsibility of any man to care for and protect any woman unwilling to follow his lead. I don’t feel a whiff of guilt for saying the things I said and doing the things I did. I acted in good faith.

A woman should understand that a man’s protective instincts are triggered by her submissiveness and her display of vulnerability. A show of strength and independence, whether genuine or contrived, makes it easy for us to leave a woman. But who’s going to submit to such a primitive idea like this at this day and age? Certainly not a well-educated, glamorous, rich girl who has the world at her feet.

I’ll miss you baby. I won’t deny it. But our paths parted ways the moment you challenged my ways and refused to fall back in line.